The quarantine days has put my stress tolerance level to a test. And I think I scored nearly zero. At the beginning, it was fun. I live with a toddler and his dad. I was happy that we’ll be spending so much time together. Time is really precious to us, we don’t get much. But it turned out, time is still scarce. I start my day with making breakfast, feeding my son and having my own breakfast. Then it goes on- bathing my kid, rushing to make lunch, cleaning the house, and cleaning toilets, taking my shower and do my prayers at really late hours, get my lunch in the afternoon, and rush again to make evening snacks, feed my kid, making dinner, playing with my kid, and so on. And after all this, the house is still dirty, meals are yet to be prepared, my kid is not well fed. Both the grandmas noticed my son is getting thin. My mom, told me directly that I don’t take care of him, I’m lazy! My mom in law is gentle, she didn’t told me anything directly, but she gave her remarks about the childs growth. The thing is, I don’t like to force feed him. I don’t give him phone to look at so he can eat. My husband helps, he would keep the baby company when I work. But the baby is too attached to me. The husband also helps in chores, but he’s so lazy. If I ask him to do something today, he’ll postpone it till my breaking point. And nowadays, i break too soon. I don’t know if anything of what I’m saying is making any sense. I’m having fights with my husband every couple of days. The intensity of the fights are scary, though we used to be a lovely couple. To top that off, I can’t get any space to work! My son gets too excited when I open the laptop. He doesn’t let me work at all. He sleeps only around 2 hours at day and I usually take shower or lunch or do some cleaning during that time. He sleeps really late at night, and I’m having trouble sleeping too. I’ll lay awake in bed for hours and I wake up late. When I leave the bed, the baby would wake up instantly. I need to edit some vdo’s which I don’t know how to do with my phone. I’m trying to develop a routine. But I’m failing constantly. I pushed myself to do some workout. Day before yesterday, I worked out, and did everything on time. Then went to take a shower, my husband took care of the baby. In the process he missed some calls from his work. He was frowned upon. He blamed it on me, I shout back. Turned into a nasty fight. I think he isn’t doing enough, he says I overreact too much. Don’t get me wrong, he is a very loving and caring husband and father. But in these days, he’s always on phone. I get it when it’s work, but the other times it’s either netflix, facebook or vdo conference with his friends. Can’t he talk to me as I’m the only adult available in person! I just wish there would be less to do. I wish my house would clean itself, or the food would be served without me being involved, or i woudn’t have to edit my vdo contents- just shoot and done. I wish there was less work. 

Ps: does anybody has any suggestion on how to keep a toddler off a laptop? Mine doesn’t even care about phones when the laptop is open.

Solution by an expert

You can keep your son busy in physical activities like different kinds of physical games.  It will keep your toddler away from laptop. Since imitating others is a nature of child, while in the process of engaging your child in physical activities you may also refrain yourself from using laptop and it would be best if you engage yourself in those physical activities too with your child. Your toddler will eventually become hungry and tired. This way you will not have to spend extra effort to feed him or to make him go to bed in time. You can also try some reinforcement techniques such as giving your son something that he desires for only if he takes his meal in time or go to bed timely. When your child becomes habituated with the new routine, the frequency of giving this reinforcement should be decreased gradually otherwise your toddler will get used to it and in future it might be impossible for you to get him doing anything without giving him his desired thing. And for your stress to relieve, you can share your stress experiences with your husband and together with him you can make a daily routine which will require both of yours and you husband’s contribution. And it is very important to make sure that in this new routine there must be some time for both of you for doing your own pleasure activities such as, watching movies, reading books or whatever gives you pleasure. Best wishes for you and love for your toddler.