Do we all know what parenting is all about? Is parenting the sole responsibility of parents? Or is the mother responsible for the development of the child? In the context of Bangladesh, a big myth is that parent means only mother and father, and the only mother is responsible for the development of the child. Let’s take a look at two more myths about parenting in this 5-episode article.

Myth # 1 Being a good mother means giving up your choice for the child. – Wrong!

Children should be allowed to understand the balance between others and themselves. We expect our young children to develop their thinking and behavior in the future. Self-care skills, such as eating on your own, doing your own bathroom work, and getting dressed, are very important. From the beginning of life, I start learning how to run in society. We want our children to be independent, not to be a burden to anyone. We want them to develop their own preferences. If we kill our own choice and give priority to the child as much as the child, then the child has learned to give up. Where will he learn to develop his own choice, to be independent, to accept the likes and dislikes or incompetence of others with respect, if he does not see these in what he teaches? It can be difficult for children to gain the confidence to do something for themselves because then they learn to be completely dependent on their parents.

Yes, it is important for us to build a model of generosity, humility and self-sacrifice for our children, but it is also important that they know how to take as much as they can. Examples or models of how to respect the needs of your loved one with your own needs should also be created for your child. One’s complete surrender can never be a model behavior. So take care of your own choice, teach the child to take care of his own choice too.

Myth # 2 It is useless to express emotions in front of a child, he is small, he does not understand anything. – Wrong information

Expressing your emotions or feelings is very important for your child. Babies respond through facial expressions in a very basic way from birth and since then they have been watching and learning your facial expressions. Within the first few months, babies begin to notice their parents and begin to understand how the world around them should react. This is called social referencing – they are using it as a reference to understand what they are seeing in their social relationships.

When a 2-year-old child goes down to the playground, they must look at their guardian before crying. If they notice that her parent is worried, the child will start crying whether she is in pain or not. A child begins to read the folds of his guardian’s face, eyebrows, eyeballs from the beginning of life. They also begin to understand the meaning of deep breathing, hugs and laughter. Social referencing is an early step in the development of empathy. The ability to be sensitive to the feelings of others and to be able to express one’s own emotions teaches one to express one’s own opinion while respecting the opinion of others. 

Dr. Irin Binte Azad
Parent Educator and Counselor
Women Support Initiative Forum (WSIF)
Trained in NDD and Inclusive Education