Are you working on the 6 myths we have learned so far? I hope you are. We will be learning today about two other myths relating tolerating to children’s tantrums.

Myth # 7

Children’s tantrums are meaningless. – Wrong!

Being overwhelmed is like an invisible word in the context of Bangladeshi parenting. All In Bangladesh, all types of unmanageable or challenging behaviors are considered useless tantrums. But if we go by the ABC approach, that is Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence, then we would learn how wrong we are! Children’s behaviors are the reflection of our actions towards them. If his tantrum is materialistic, that means he has only had his/her materialistic needs fulfilled. If it is attention-seeking, that means he/she has not been having attention from anyone by a qualitative time spending. If you are not understanding his/her tantrum needs, that means he/she was not taught how to be friendly enough to share overwhelming thoughts with parents. Or there might be some physical cause of being overwhelmed which he/she was not taught to express properly. Or perhaps Also, the child has might have other needs that involve sensory overwhelming. So before coming to a conclusion concluding look at their behavior pattern, look for the antecedent of the behavior and how the tantrum is managed before. Change your behavior pattern to, change your children’s behavior pattern.

“An escalated adult cannot de-escalate an escalated child.”
– Mathew Portell, an American teacher and instructional coach

Myth # 8

All tantrums are to be ignored always. – Wrong.

Yes, sometimes materialistic tantrums should be ignored. But from the above myth, we know that all the tantrums are not materialistic. The more you ignore the overwhelming tantrums, the more you are nurturing the abandonment issues. Talk to your children and spend quality time with them. Try to understand why they are doing and what they are doing. Seek professional help if needed. Be the best friend to your children. Only then you can manage both the materialistic tantrum and the overwhelming tantrum.

“The presence of tantrums does not mean that my kid is a brat, it just means that he is still learning. And I am definitely ok with learning.”
-Paula Rollo, A Parenting Author

Dr. Irin Binte Azad
Parent Educator and Counselor
Women Support Initiative Forum (WSIF)
General Physician
Trained in NDD and Inclusive Education, IER, DU
Trainee in NDD, IPNA, BSMMU