How a person grows up to be, what their personalities develop to be like, and what their romantic relationships are like- do not only depend on themselves but also on how much love & care was given to them when they were babies. This is what attachment theory is about, as developed by John Bowlby. It starts as a mental and emotional representation of the infant’s first attachment relationship and forms the basis of an individual’s attachment style. Attachment styles refer to the particular way in which an individual relates to other people.

A child is born with an innate behaviour like crying and smiling to seek the attention of their primary caregiver (in most cases, this is the mother), which is the starting point of maternal attachment. Failure to develop this attachment for any reason can lead to affectionless psychopathy. The first two years of a child’s life are the most crucial years, where it should receive the continuous care of this single most important attachment figure, i.e., the mother, for approximately the first two years of life. If mothering is delayed for the first 2-2.5 years of the child’s life, it is almost useless and could result in long-term cognitive, social, and emotional difficulties for that infant.

Based on interaction with the mother, the baby will develop either a secure attachment or an insecure attachment to people around them, including romantic relationships. The father is also a key factor in the development of the child, but the mother plays the role of the primary caregiver in a child’s life.

What happens when the mother is there for the baby, responsive to it, and sensitive towards the baby in the first 0-5 years of their life?

These Children use their mothers as a safe base to explore the rest of the world

– Establish a basic sense of trust because they could trust their mothers as infants to take care of them

– Allow emotional regulation

– More independent

– More stable emotionally

– Ability to cope with stress

– Resilient to peer pressure

– Develop good relationships in future In Part 2 we will learn about “what happens when a mother is not emotionally available to her child? And what to do when somebody is experiencing an insecure attachment style?